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Gently seething... - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

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Gently seething... [May. 9th, 2002|01:17 pm]
Kurt Onstad
I'm so glad today is my Friday. (No, I'm not past the international date line. It's just that I work Sunday through Thursday, so by my work week, today is Friday...) I'm still in the mood to break something (no longer want to kill, though. That's good, because the co-worker I hate the most is babbling away in the next row...)

I'd really like to have a place where I can go to that's a room filled with breakable stuff that's okay to break. That would be such an incredible stress relief for me. Completely allow the primal side of me out for a little bit. Then, once I'm done, I could walk out, and be the Kurt that everyone knows and loves again. As it is right now, I have this smiling exterior, but inside I'm looking around going "Oooh, that would shatter pretty..."

Kurt
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: technomonkey
2002-05-09 03:16 pm (UTC)

Not a bad idea...

The upkeep would be expensive, but could you imagine the business you'd get if you had a place like that? You charge admission, or a per-minute or per-item fee, and the customer goes in and breaks stuff. I bet it'd be very popular.....
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-05-09 03:32 pm (UTC)

Upkeep...

Okay. The actual breakable stuff, just hit the salvation army and garage sales, and you'll probably be able to fill a room for less than $20. Then you need to clean. Let's call that another $10 in labor, although I think it's actually less.

You'd need waivers, in case something broke in a way that hurt someone.

The question is, how much would/could you charge for this service? Assuming $20 to fill a room, and $10 for cleaning, you need to charge $30+ in order to break even. Would you pay $50 in order to do this? How often?

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: self
2002-05-10 01:30 am (UTC)

Not to dredge out racial stereotypes, but...

I bet they have that in Japan.
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-05-10 01:33 am (UTC)

If that's true...

That would make researching the feasibility and charges of starting a business like that here much easier.

Hey, scream therapy was popular for a while. I think destruction therapy would be popular enough to at least get the first few people who create the business really rich...

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: octavie
2002-05-09 04:10 pm (UTC)
I used to get that urge a lot as a kid. I would look in my room for things I didnt mind being broken, I usually just settled on ripping paper... but it was never that satifying... throwing dishes against a wall would have been better..

I don't get that urge very often anymore. I think I'd perfer a big punching bag. If I practiced like a boxer, I'd get out aggression and get some killer arm toning :)
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-05-09 05:05 pm (UTC)

Violent urges: Then and now

My "break stuff" urges started in middle school. Around the same time I went into therapy (go figure...). Therapy helped quell those urges, but around mid-late college, they came back with a vengance. The worst period of them was when I worked for a company called L.E.G. Productions. Right before my car got impounded and my license was suspended. That was the most stressful period of my life. The fact that it's starting to creep back in again tells me that my stress level is too high, and that it's probably time for me to move on to a new job.

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: octavie
2002-05-10 12:04 pm (UTC)

Re: Violent urges: Then and now

yes, I hate those lil personality quirks that jump out, stare you in the face and say "HEY LOOK HOW STRESSED YOU ARE."
I've had mine lately as well...

fortunately it looks like I have a job offer finally?
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-05-10 12:07 pm (UTC)

Congrats

Yay!

Hope it works out.
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[User Picture]From: self
2002-05-10 01:26 am (UTC)

Why self doesn't teach anger management:

I've broken things, it didn't help. Maybe a padded room with lots of nerf items and a baseball bat would be more satisfying - the longer things survive, the more you can pound into them.

Smashing things makes a visual statement, but it's strictly external. Why not ask someone still in touch with their animal instincts, rather than imitate what looked satisfying in a movie somewhere?

When my dog gets anxious and frustrated, she sometimes wants to play tug-of-war. She's not really interested in getting the rope away from you or dragging to any particular location. It's strictly about the physical sensation of pulling at her jaw from within. If her rope isn't handy, I can satisfy this by wrapping my index finger around one of her teeth and pulling away.

I'd like to say that was my reasoning when I discovered the following, but it's really just rationalization after the fact.

So, here's what you do.
  • Put on a durable pair of jeans, ideally clean.
  • Sit down cross-legged on the floor.
  • Grab one of your feet, and bring it up high enough so you can bite into your pants leg.
  • Grab a fold of cloth, and bite into your pants leg.
  • Slowly release your foot so your leg hangs suspended from your mouth.
  • If gravity isn't providing enough pressure, pull away with your leg (again, slowly)
  • Hope no one saw you.
  • Consult an othodontist to repair the damage.
Likewise, there's not much point in hurting your throat screaming. A drawn-out wail can accomplish the same thing; you're just looking to displace control for a few moments so you can gather it back up more comfortably.
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-05-10 01:36 am (UTC)

Biting...

Wow. That brings me back. The very first thing I did when I started losing control of my anger was to bite myself. Hard. Never drew blood, but came close a few times. I'd have these indentations in my wrist for quite some time, though. I don't know how much the jeans thing would help me. For some reason, the anger seems to want to have a destructive outlet of some kind, whether that be an inanimate object, another person, or myself.

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: self
2002-05-10 02:29 am (UTC)

indentations

I used to bite my finger. I liked the fact that I could be hurting myself in a room full of people, but look so casual about it that no one pays any mind. Rather poetic, really. But ultimately, adding to the problem failed to solve it.

Again, though, I think it was the biting more than being bitten. The isometric resistance is what I was after.

As for the anger, it really doesn't know what it wants. You can't expect clear thinking from an anthropomorphized emotion, after all.

I propose you go about this scientifically. You've already stated the problem, and your hypothesis as to what's needed, so on seperate occasions:
  1. Try being destructive to an inanimate object.
  2. Try being destructive to yourself.
  3. Try being destructive to another person.
  4. Try doing nothing about it, or forego having a control group.
  5. Try reducing these actions to their core physical stimulus (ie: the jeans thing)
Compare and review your findings, and report back with a conclusion.
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