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Kurt Onstad

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Family Day...(long one) [May. 25th, 2003|05:09 pm]
Kurt Onstad
[Current Mood |cynicalcynical]
[Current Music |Velcro Heart-Uninvited-13 Ways To Feel The Love]

So, I went to my sister's house to get together with her, the brother-in-law, and my parents yesterday. The original plan was that we would have lunch, then go to a "Design House." (A model house created by a famous architect of some sort...) But, by the time I arrived (about half an hour later than expected, due to horrible traffic), the plan had changed. Now, instead of going to the design house, we would help Denise and Ed do some work on their house...

So, we had lunch, then went shopping at Home Depot. After that, we sanded and painted new pantry doors and attached some drywall with a door guide to the top of the pantry and the doorjamb thing to the bottom.

After that, we sat around and talked for an hour or so, then ordered a pizza, and ate that. By that time, it was 8:45pm, and we all went home.

Fairly uneventful day, thankfully, but as most of you know, any day spent with my parents is stressful, especially when they ask questions like "So, any chance of you and Riki getting back together?" and "Have you heard at all from Amy?" (The answer to both of those being 'No,' in case you're curious.)

Also, I was told by my parents when I was alone in the car with them that my sister wants me to be more excited about her pregnancy.

I'm really happy for her. She's going to be an excellent mother, I think. (Still not quite sure about Ed as a father, but then I don't really know him all that well.) But, my sister and I have never really been all that close. When we were kids, I wanted to hang out with her a lot (partly because I thought she was cool, and partly because her friends were hot...), but I was the baby brother, and she really didn't want me around. She and I never went to the same school at the same time, except for one year when I was in Kindergarten and she was in 4th grade, so even then there was no interaction between us during school hours, nor was there ever the "Oh, you're Denise's brother" thing with teachers. When we moved to Ventura, Denise was now old enough to drive, and we saw less and less of each other, and she went off to college two years later. When I got old enough to drive, she and I saw a little more of each other, and we shared stories and advice regarding how to deal with Mom and Dad. That was probably the period of time that we were closest to each other. Then she and Ed got serious, and our lives became much more different from each other again. She helped me quite a bit with keeping the license suspension from Mom and Dad, for which I'm grateful, but now that that's resolved, she and I only see each other every few months, and talk on the phone with about the same frequency.

Because of our lack of interaction (and because my memory gets so foggy when you go back any farther than a few years...), it sometimes feels like I was an only child. So, Denise being pregnant is like a well-known acquaintance being pregnant. Good for them, but no real reason for me to get excited. Maybe that makes me a bad brother (and I'm sure it makes me a bad uncle). But, you know what? That's how it is. I can't flip a switch to get more excited, and I'm not going to pretend to be more excited for her. As I said, I'm happy for her. And part of me is looking forward to being "Weird Uncle Kurt." (Although, it seems like I might end up being "Weird Uncle Dave," which will piss me off to no end. I have very bad memories associated with "Uncle Dave." I still have to correct my family nearly every time they bring up my name, although it's been nearly 11 years since I, for all intents and purposes, changed my name...) But, then there's the part of me that feels the same way as Bill Hicks did about childbirth. So, please don't expect me to be in the front row of anyone's cheering section when they announce they're reproducing...


[User Picture]From: self
2003-05-26 08:47 pm (UTC)

Only one way to settle this...

If it makes you feel better, Kurt's power far surpasses Dave.
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[User Picture]From: pottertilly
2003-05-28 04:44 pm (UTC)
Not sure if this is the same thing, but years ago my parents read me a letter they received from one of our relatives in the Philippines. The news was that I was going to be a godmother to a daughter of one of my cousins. I thought that was extremely absurd, especially since at that time I had no communication with this cousin. I left the Philippines when I was two, and really didn't know much about my large family. My parents were mad that I didn't seem to jump for joy at this. Sure, it was an honor, but really, why would you choose a perfect stranger to be your child's godmother? If I ever have kids, I would want someone who was very dear to me to play that role.
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[User Picture]From: tommyomega
2003-05-28 09:59 pm (UTC)

Jeezus... what do they want you to do, give her a medal?

I mean, really... my feelings about children aside it's not like she cured cancer or something along those lines.

So, please don't expect me to be in the front row of anyone's cheering section when they announce they're reproducing...

And I don't think your sister would appreciate being patronized or you over-exaggerating (if that's even a real word) your feelings with expressive joy... at least when I do it, it looks like sarcasm. A non-religious "Amen" to that statement, brother.

Needless to say, I got similar statements about stuff my brother's done to my parents...

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