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Communication Breakdown... - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

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Communication Breakdown... [Apr. 5th, 2004|03:46 pm]
Kurt Onstad
[Current Mood |conflicted]
[Current Music |Goodnight Song-Tears For Fears-Elemental]

There are things that I have to tell someone, but I really don't want to.

There are things that I really want to tell someone, but I shouldn't.

There are things that I am told I was supposed to tell people, but didn't feel a need to.

There are things that I have told everyone here that I've later been told shouldn't have been said.

If any of you were hurt by any of the above, I apologize.

I'm really just sick of it all. All the drama, all the mixed emotions...almost all of everything. As the song goes, "I'm tired of livin', but scared of dyin'." I hate turning my journal into a mope fest, but that's how I'm feeling right now, and I've found that getting it out helps me, so...there you go.

All I want is a little bit of the magic in life to return. If anyone has any suggestions on that, I'm all ears.

[User Picture]From: bigevil
2004-04-05 03:56 pm (UTC)
First thing you need to do is tell those people what you want to tell them. IN the end you're either going to have to face consequences or be crushed under the weight of your silence.

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[User Picture]From: tommyomega
2004-04-05 08:42 pm (UTC)
Amen. Amen.
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[User Picture]From: jasheffe
2004-04-05 03:58 pm (UTC)
I'm mildly confused because I have always found you to be forthright and honest in what you have to say. One of the reasons I like you so much and still make the attempt to stay in touch rather than let you fade behind the Orange Curtain.

If people have found umbrage because you happened to have made an honest comment about something then they need to deal and get over themselves. If the comment(s) were spiteful and geared to cause pain, then that is different. But if they were honest, I fail to see the problem. As I have no clue what happened here, I could be totally off-base which happens at times ::smirk::

I hope it all works out well for ya buddy.

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[User Picture]From: jasheffe
2004-04-05 04:04 pm (UTC)

Turn your LJ into whatever you want. It's there for you to SHARE whatever it is you want with the people that are supposed to be your friends. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it but NO ONE has the right to tell you what you should and should not post in it.

Sorry...Pet Peeve. Prozac is making everything better now...
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[User Picture]From: jeanlucpikachu
2004-04-05 03:59 pm (UTC)
I hate turning my journal into a mope fest
That's what it's there for!

Nothing hurts more than having to keep your feelings bottled up, you can't leave them to fester inside and you shouldn't let other people think things that aren't true.

Sorry that I don't have anything more useful to say ^^;;
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[User Picture]From: shironiku
2004-04-05 05:49 pm (UTC)
As the reigning champion of miscommunication, I can honestly say, "I feel your pain." I can also say that focusing on what is good in my life, rather than on what is bad or what is missing, is how I keep the magic going.
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[User Picture]From: thalialunacy
2004-04-05 08:51 pm (UTC)
WERD. Man, you could cut and paste that shit into my fucking journal. As a matter of fact... may I?
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2004-04-05 10:22 pm (UTC)
Go for it.
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[User Picture]From: barelyproper
2004-04-05 11:55 pm (UTC)

chin up... this too shall pass.
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[User Picture]From: particle_man
2004-04-06 06:16 am (UTC)
Dude, your journal is your journal. If you need to bitch, praise, rant or rave then this is your place to do it and screw what anyone else thinks. If you feel you can't do it here because of who reads it then create another journal and don't tell anyone about it. I don't think you still need a code to create a journal here but if you do I've got at least one that I would be willing to give you. I know, you're not the kind of guy that likes to take handouts so you can consider it repayment for helping me through some of my own internal struggles. No matter if others think you shouldn't have posted something you did in the past I've found your posts to be personally helpful more quite a few times and would consider it an honor to be able to help you in some way.
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From: satyrlovesong
2004-04-06 09:36 am (UTC)

Outside opinion

I don't know you or any of the people involved, so take this with a grain of salt.

My personal policy is that the only person I truly have to live with is myself. As long as I can approve of my own actions, and know that what I have done I can be proud of, I don't worry about what other people think. Trying to live up to other people's expectations will drive you mad, my dear.

Now, let me give you some examples - albeit extreme one -- for the above cryptic explanation from my perspective.

There are things that I have to tell someone, but I really don't want to.

Ok, if it turns out you've got some sort of raging std and you don't want to tell your significant other, just suck it up and tell him/her. Things that effect other people in dramatic ways generally need to be shared.

There are things that I really want to tell someone, but I shouldn't.

That's a tough one, and you have to weigh the pros and cons. Will it hurt them? Will keeping your mouth shut cause more harm than good? Will saying something produce positive change? Will the individual even listen? Do you want to say something only because it will make you feel better, or feel like you have the high moral ground?

There are things that I am told I was supposed to tell people, but didn't feel a need to.

Personally, I wouldn't sweat this one even a bit. I get hassled all the time that I should tell my family every time I get sick, every time things are a little rough in my life. I'm sorry. That's not going to happen. My life is private, and I share only what I choose to share. If you don't feel the need, you shouldn't have to. Its back to that "To thine own self be true" concept.

There are things that I have told everyone here that I've later been told shouldn't have been said.

Yeah, this one's a tough one as well. I tend to follow the path of least disclosure, but its an individual judgment call. Does it hurt anyone? Does it gain anyone?

In any event, I'm done rambling now.

Take care, and I wish you the best of luck.

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[User Picture]From: pottertilly
2004-04-06 11:40 am (UTC)
As I understand, your Live Journal can be however you want it to be, so as you call it, it can be a "mope fest," although I just see it as a therapeutic thing; venting is good!

I wish I had some advice for you to get that "magic" back. I had a period of time when things were very dark, but something happened when I turned 25 and whatever hope I had lost was regained. I believed in life again. I so hope you get that rejuvenation. I wish I can tell you how though...
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[User Picture]From: eowyn42
2004-04-06 03:43 pm (UTC)


don't know about you, but my mope turns to insanity, so take your pick.
Oh, and because someone said something earlier - prozac is a bueatiful thing.
Speak what needs to be spoken.
Write that which needs to be written.
And if you're thinking what I think you're thinking - FOR GOD'S SAKE SAY SOMETHING!!!
But it could be something else entirely.
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[User Picture]From: self
2004-04-12 12:32 pm (UTC)
The thing about magic is, it stops working when we tell you how it's done. Just pick a card - it's the ace of spades.


I was just writing something the other day which might apply to some of this, but it's not done yet. I'll send you a link when it's up...

There's no drama in an action, just it's perception. Try your best to avoid misunderstandings, but in the end, you're not responsible for how anyone else sees things. There may be fallout, which is never fun, but it's ultimately easier than trying to internalize their personal bias as your own.

In the meantime, I notice mopefest isn't taken. Go ahead and grab that. Turn it into a closed community, and you'll be able to post to it without logging out as speedball. That place will exist only for venting. If your readers don't want to hear it, they can simply not monitor the community. No consequence allowed. This separation should clear up any misgivings you might have about what your journal should be - just keep things in their proper forum, and it's taken care of.
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