Kurt Onstad (speedball) wrote,
Kurt Onstad
speedball

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General rantings...

Stayed home from work today. My body was complaining that I was staying up too late, and getting up too early. I just about fell asleep in front of the computer finishing up this week's show. There was no way I was going to be able to stay awake for 8 hours sitting in front of the computer and talking on the phone, and I'm betting falling asleep on a customer is a fireable offense. So, I called in sick, and took a nap. Much better now.

I'm also a lot calmer than I was last night. I've talked to Megan again since the conversation that sent me freaking, and we seem to be fine. Not awkward or anything like that. Yay! There's still this part of me that gets sick to my stomach when I think about it, and what she might be thinking, but I can deal with that. Just means I'll keep my girlish figure a little longer... :)

Of course, in all likelihood, she doesn't think about me near half as much as I think about her these days. But, that's understandable. I purposely took a job that lets me think about other things while I'm at it. I have this one A+ certification class that I have to concentrated during on Thursdays, but other than that, I have a lot of time to contemplate my life. And right now, she's one of the best and most interesting things in it, so it's natural I think about her a lot. She, on the other hand, is dealing with school full-time, a part-time job, and a recent death in the family. No. I doubt much of her thoughts go my way, when we're not online together, or together in person...But that's okay. My hope is that we get to a point in our relationship where I'm not thinking about her as often as I do (because part of the reason I'm thinking about her so much is because I'm worried about what she's thinking about me...If/when we get to a more stable point in our relationship, I won't have to worry anymore...), and she thinks about me more often, and we have a healthy relationship, where we're not a couple-unit, but a couple who also have seperate lives. There's little worse than the inseperable couple-unit. Trust me, I've known far too many of them. If I ever become part of one myself, anyone reading this has my permission to slap me upside the head, and remind me of this little mini-rant of mine.

Kurt Onstad
First must actually become part of a couple, before worrying about being part of a couple-unit...
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