Log in

No account? Create an account
I promised I'd get around to it eventually - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

I promised I'd get around to it eventually [Dec. 24th, 2009|08:12 pm]
Kurt Onstad
[Current Mood |morosemorose]
[Current Music |Hymn To The Fallen - John Williams - Saving Private Ryan]

"So, how do you feel about the breakup?"

Good question. And one I've been going around and around on in my head for a while now. Intellectually, I'm fine with it. I know that it's best for both of us. I don't want kids. Honestly, I guess I never really did. I just fooled myself into thinking that I did for Myra's sake. But, as the time came closer and closer for when we were scheduled to start trying for them, my true feelings came back, and I had to tell Myra. We gave ourselves time for either of us to change our mind on the subject, but it wasn't going to happen...

So, like I said, intellectually, I'm good with it. Emotionally? I could be better. I feel like I failed. Other than one uncle, no one in my immediate or extended family that I am aware of has ever gotten divorced. The worst part was telling my parents. I called them, and told my mom, as dad was currently driving. Mom told me that dad would call me when they got home. He didn't call that night. The next day, I got an email from him saying "I have to wait for a while before we talk. Right now I feel like there has been another death in the family." (His uncle had died fairly recently, hence "another".)

I've been sitting here for about ten minutes now thinking and not typing, so I guess I'm done with the stuff that I feel comfortable saying. There's more to it than that, but that's the basics of how I feel on the subject.

[User Picture]From: jasheffe
2009-12-25 06:00 am (UTC)
You didn't fail anyone and your parents piss me off on a regular basis. Your Dad needs to realize and accept that this isn't ABOUT him and how he feels. I'm sorry you guys couldn't make this work but on the other, I'm glad you talked it out and came to a decision rather than having something you were not gonna want to deal with later. Hang in there my friend.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: silverlily81
2009-12-25 07:03 pm (UTC)
I second this. Completely.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: stacymckenna
2009-12-25 07:57 am (UTC)
Doing what's right for both of you is a much better form of "success" than the "failure" of staying in a relationship that meets nobody's needs.

That said, I completely relate to the emotional response. My condolences on it being so difficult.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pottertilly
2010-01-06 04:29 am (UTC)
Kurt, as we've told Myra, we only wish the best for you both!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pottertilly
2010-01-06 04:31 am (UTC)
P.S. We both think it was great that you and Myra were able to be honest with one another! It showed how much respect and love you have for each other!
(Reply) (Thread)