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My parents views on relationships... - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

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My parents views on relationships... [Nov. 10th, 2000|08:39 pm]
Kurt Onstad
[Current Mood |frustrated (Like you couldn't tell)]
[Current Music |Rush - "Manhattan Project"]

I got together with my father and my uncle yesterday. I mentioned Megan to them. Knowing my previous relationships, and how well they've gone, and why, dad said "Well, don't act desperate. Play hard to get every now and then too." My response was, "Fricking games!" Dad said, "That's right!"

I love games. I play games almost every single day of my life. But, not in relationships! Which, you know, is probably why I've been so unsuccessful at them. So, sue me, I'm a big believer in always being honest. I hate keeping secrets, as I think I've mentioned a few times before now. Can someone please tell me why these games are so necessary? If I'm attracted to someone, and they're attracted to me...Why can't we just admit that to each other, and move on from there? Why play this coy game of "Does she? Doesn't she?" All this does is tie my stomach into knots, which isn't exciting to me...just nauseous.

This is frustrating.

But, this seems to be the system that I'm stuck in, so I'll play the game as best as I can. And, more likely than not, I'll lose, because I think the rules are stupid.

Kurt Onstad

[User Picture]From: self
2000-11-12 12:57 pm (UTC)

Dad + Uncle do NOT equal "parents"

You know my thoughts on games already.

But, let's play devil's advocate. I think this will work better for you, actually.

The argument in favor of playing hard to get is that maybe she needs to be the aggressor occasionally. The payoff is better with a little chase, or so the theory goes. Well, if pursuit keeps things exciting, she has just as much right to that as you do.

There's something to be said for that, actually. And for mindgames in general, so long as they don't compose or interfere with the structure of the relationship, and it's clear to both parties when you're in play mode.

Then, it's just a matter of being sensitive to her needs, to make sure she's enjoying herself.

(But why you'd listen to your dad's relationship advice, knowing fully well who he ended up with, is beyond me...)

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[User Picture]From: speedball
2000-11-12 01:38 pm (UTC)

True, but I've heard this from both parents before...

Okay. So, mindgames are okay, when you both agree you're in play mode. That's not what my dad seemed to be advocating...To him, it seems to be perfectly acceptable to play these games at the beginning of a relationship, without foreknowledge of the other person. Or, maybe he believes that both people know these games are constantly being played anyways, so that makes it ok.

I believe I'm being sensitive to her needs, while still making her aware of mine as well...That seems fair, doesn't it?

(Your last comment had me almost falling out my seat with laughter...My co-workers think I'm quite odd.)

Kurt Onstad
Is quite odd...
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