Kurt Onstad (speedball) wrote,
Kurt Onstad

Randomly depressed...

I get these every now and then. Usually, it's connected to the fact that I'm really tired (like today), so I don't worry about it being something more serious, but it's still frustrating. Today, for no real apparent reason, I'm just really depressed. I mean, next to tears, nothing really matters, God why am I even here depressed. I really just want to go home and crawl into bed, but I still have 2 and a half hours left of work.

The odd thing is, for the most part, life is going really well...I've got Riki in my life, which makes me really happy when she's around. (Although, it looks like the next time we'll be seeing each other isn't until next Wednesday.) Christmas time is here, which used to make me happy...When did that change? Hey, I know, maybe when I stopped having a job or school that gave me time off during Christmas-time. I still haven't bought one present for my family, which I'll be seeing in...oh, about 26 hours...I'm screwed. That stress could be adding to this.

Oh well. If it's what I think it is, then it'll be over by January 4th at the very latest...If not, then it'll be time to go back into therapy again...Whee!

Kurt Onstad
Shiny, happy, people...Yeah, right.

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