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Happy New Year. By the way, you're screwed. - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

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Happy New Year. By the way, you're screwed. [Jan. 1st, 2002|01:58 pm]
Kurt Onstad
Okay. I'm tired and I need to vent. The person who may take offense at this...Don't.

So, I have to move in March, because my current roommates are pregnant. I sent out a message to my friends, letting them know this, and trying to find someone who'd be interested in moving in with me to our own apartment in March. Erik emailed me and said "Yes!" So, tentative plans were made, with further discussions starting to firm things up. Then, yesterday, he tells me that because of developments at work, in all likelihood, he won't be able to afford to move out. I can understand that's frustrating for him and I'm sure he told me as soon as he could, but he still has someplace to live. I, on the other hand, still have to move out in March. Now I need to either find a room to rent, or a one-bedroom apartment. Neither of these prospects is pleasant for me. I have never lived alone, and the few times I've been alone in my house or apartment at night, I've hated it. But, I was also really looking forward to getting someplace that was mine, and not a place I was coming into a situation that was already set up, where I'd be the new guy moving in...But, unless someone new comes along and says "Hey, let's get an apartment together," those are exactly my choices...

I'm angry and frustrated at this situation, and I have nowhere reasonable to aim that...

Kurt
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: self
2002-01-01 05:44 pm (UTC)

when perspective becomes pointless

So, in addition to the normal expenses a new child brings, they've increased their cost of housing by a factor of whatever rent you're going to stop paying. Good thing that money grows on trees, I guess.

On your end, this probably increases pressure to get a working computer, while diminishing your ability to purchase one.

Mmm. Negative things to fixate on.

Y'know, I don't think I know a single person who's currently happy with their situation.
    Sucks to be anyone.

Being alone is a good thing to get used to, though. It's a show of independance (which potential mates will find attractive, try to rid you of, then leave you when they succeed). It's also useful should you happen to snag one, as this reduces clinginess (a common shortener of relationships) and puts you in a better position strategically. (all games aside, when the girl you're living with realizes the power she holds over you by simply being somewhere else, you're going to lose a lot of arguments)


Eh. Too grumpy for wisdom. Perhaps I'll try again later...
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-01-01 06:33 pm (UTC)

Re: when perspective becomes pointless

Computer: No longer a problem. I just got my inheritance from my grandmother. That will buy the computer I've wanted for some time, plus have money left over to keep in savings...I'm going to wait until just after I move to buy it though. Put the inheritance money in the savings account until then, because at this point by the time I bought it and got it shipped from wherever, it would just be another couple of weeks before I have to put it back in a box and move it to a new place...

Being alone: It's not a relationship kind of being alone that bothers me. Hell, I'm used to that. I just hate being alone in a house or apartment at night, when I'm trying to go to bed. It's creepy. During the day, I love to be alone in my place. This might be better if I was in an apartment complex, where I knew people were nearby, but I doubt it. It's just strangely reassuring to have people in the same building as you when you're trying to go to sleep.

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: self
2002-01-02 12:18 am (UTC)

gloom 'n doom

I'm aware of the distinction, and was actually drawing on it.

Some day, you're going to find yourself living with a girl, and it will logically follow that you have no other roommates. There might be a step or two in between there, but it's still the logical progression.

When this occurs, there will be a period of adjustment, and arguments have been known to flare up in times of adjustment. Now, it's not uncommon for those to end with one party getting a hotel room or driving back to their parents' house. Which is fine - the practice allows you both some much needed space and perspective. But it's not entirely equal.

If you leave, you're in an empty hotel room. If she leaves, you're in an empty house. In either case, this hurts you more than her. You'll be a little too fast to compromise, she'll hold out a little longer to see where the boundaries are, and whether or not either of you realize it, there's a pattern of feedback in place which will train her to get upset and head for the door whenever she wants something. You'll both secretly hate her for it, and the best that you can hope for at that point is to bid good riddance to an unhealthy relationship.

...and if I find myself posting an "I told you so" URL back to this thread, I'm going to be extremely depressed.


Sorry to hear about your grandmother, by the way. I've lost two grandparents, and it sucked both times.
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-01-02 11:06 am (UTC)

Re: gloom 'n doom

Actually, I'm not sure why, but an empty hotel room doesn't set off that sensation. I've done that quite a few times without having any issues.

Hmmm. In a hotel (at least all of the ones I've stayed at alone), when you open the door to your room, you're still inside. Thus, there are plenty of people in the same building as you. Maybe if I find an apartment complex with that same kind of layout, I'd be okay...

Thank you for the sympathy about my grandmother. In her case, though, we had already mourned her before she died, because she was so far gone, both physically and mentally (sometimes she didn't recognize my mom when she came to visit, and this was my maternal grandmother). When she died, it was more a blessing for both her and the family...

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: technomonkey
2002-01-09 10:06 am (UTC)

Sensible (hence unrealistic) advice

You're worried about moving, you're worried about getting a job once you move and having rent money.....you're spending $3000 on a computer before anything is concrete?

I know how much you want and need the new computer, but I'd recommend saving that inheritance money until a month or two AFTER you move to make sure you don't actually need to use it to live...
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-01-09 11:05 am (UTC)

Re: Sensible (hence unrealistic) advice

I'm going to keep my current job until I find one down in that area that allows me to continue living in the style to which I've become accustomed (i.e., able to afford food, rent and comics...)

There are more details that I can't bring up at this current junction, but let's just say I'm no longer worried about how much rent is going to cost in comparison to what I currently pay.

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: technomonkey
2002-01-09 11:10 am (UTC)

Re: Sensible (hence unrealistic) advice

That's all good....except that now you need to add gas and wear and tear on the car as a factor. Thankfully it's not NEARLY as expensive as it was even a few months ago, but still, commuting from the Whittier area to Burbank and back five days a week can be quite costly...

I'd still say give it a little time to make sure you don't need to dip into that fund before making it inaccessable...
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-01-09 11:25 am (UTC)

Re: Sensible (hence unrealistic) advice

The only problem with waiting that long is that the "Crystal Clear Savings" promotion will be over, and I will no longer get the $500 rebate on the monitor...

Kurt
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[User Picture]From: technomonkey
2002-01-09 12:09 pm (UTC)

Re: Sensible (hence unrealistic) advice

SUCK.

OK, suddenly rash decisions are making some semblance of sense..... :-)
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[User Picture]From: dragonpookie
2002-01-03 12:31 am (UTC)

RE: "The person who may take offense at this...Don't."

And "With all due respect..."
Excuse the fuck out of me and thanks for being so understanding
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[User Picture]From: speedball
2002-01-03 12:18 pm (UTC)

So glad to see I still can't win...

This is where I vent my personal feelings. That's why it's called "Kurt Onstad's journal." I am sorry you lost (or may soon lose) hours at work (which is why I said "I can understand that's frustrating for him") but when I'm typing in my journal, I'm going to talk more about how things affect me.

I'm frustrated because I'm forced to change my living situation (I hate moving), and I went from thinking I was going to have a chance to live with a friend, and suddenly I was told that's no longer the case. So, I still have to deal with change, but it's no longer a change for the better. You, on the other hand, don't get to move out, which I know is frustrating for you, but your living arrangement stays stable, and you continue to live at a place that "Finally feels like home after ten years."

When I want to vent frustrations in my life, I come here and type them out. This is going to sound bad, but I can't come up with another way to say it. If you're not happy that I'm not paying enough attention to you in my diary, that's too bad...

Kurt
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