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I've been doing more online tests than usual, but this one is pretty cool. - Kurt's Life (or lack thereof) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Kurt Onstad

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I've been doing more online tests than usual, but this one is pretty cool. [Feb. 24th, 2002|01:01 pm]
Kurt Onstad
Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their cures, if known.

Pokemon (101%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

USA (100%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]

Sci-fi (220%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Religion (130%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Windows (100%)
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics (190%)
Stop caring!

Discordia (100%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Brand Names (175%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism (143%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Conspiracy Theory (115%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Ultima (110%)
If you find one tell us.

Environmentalism (103%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh (100%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Linux (80%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood (95%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

British (90%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Japan (90%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Cars (75%)
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.

Some of these are pretty much dead on (Sci-fi,junkfood, gaming, Macintosh), but others aren't. Just because I recognize different car manufacturer logos doesn't mean I particular care about cars...Just take a look at mine. Also, I've never watched more than two minutes of Pokemon at a time...Ever.

Really! I swear!