Kurt Onstad (speedball) wrote,
Kurt Onstad

I've been doing more online tests than usual, but this one is pretty cool.

Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their cures, if known.

Pokemon (101%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

USA (100%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]

Sci-fi (220%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Religion (130%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Windows (100%)
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics (190%)
Stop caring!

Discordia (100%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Brand Names (175%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism (143%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Conspiracy Theory (115%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Ultima (110%)
If you find one tell us.

Environmentalism (103%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh (100%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Linux (80%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood (95%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

British (90%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Japan (90%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Free BSD (90%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Cars (75%)
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.

Some of these are pretty much dead on (Sci-fi,junkfood, gaming, Macintosh), but others aren't. Just because I recognize different car manufacturer logos doesn't mean I particular care about cars...Just take a look at mine. Also, I've never watched more than two minutes of Pokemon at a time...Ever.

Really! I swear!

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